This Week: Ponies, Wedding Rings & Cock Blocked By A Shoulder
- Good Hair Moment: DUNHAMATOR FOR THE WIN!!! Oh how we’ve missed you. Looking so freakin bad ass; exploding lights and setting off car alarms, down on all fours. Windmark was all Scooby ears ‘Ruh Roh’. Ain’t nothin but an OD thing. You go girl!
- Good Hair Moment Part Deux: Post tragic circumstances, back at the lab, Olivia’s hair all to one side was a momentary Veronca Lake. (5x11)
- Mourning Nina, Hair: ”Peter, I love you but you petting my hair is totes not helpful right now… however, petting my hair later when we’re sleeping on our one remaining single cot while Michael watches… semi-acceptable.” (5x10)
- BOldlivia Hairography: It took BOlivia 24 years to realize that her better hair was back in season 2. Back rocking the wavy, lighter red, now with a streak of gray, BOlivia Dunham Lee looked pretty rad channelling Luke Skywalker in Return Of The Jedi….? Anyone? No?. Moving on… Minus 2 cool points for the dorky family photo. Technically could Trevor and Etta date or are they siblincousins?
- Beanie Is Back Bitches: Peter got his peacoat and Olivia got her beanie hat. All is right with the world. Olivia even got a backpack to match her
husband’s… boyfriend…partner…lobster Peter’s. All we needed was a call back to her French braid and we’d be set for life.
- It May Not Be Hair But…: "HELLO, MY NAME IS NINA" chill lady, he’s an Observer not hard of hearing. (5x10)
- "I love you… I love you too": ‘Now let’s make out and obscure the kiss with your shoulder.' (5x11)
- "Nothing Else Matters": OK, here we go. Final POlivia kiss Ever… *squee*… Oh, hello Peter’s shoulder. FML (5x12)
- Alt Marriages: Oh look, Lincoln has his wedding band on… oh look, so does his wife BOlivia. That must be some weird keraaazzzy alt universe tradition, you know both people wearing their wedding rings… *cough* (5x11)
- Olivia and Lincoln: Those two crazy kids might just have made the ship, if it it wasn’t for the love wizard in a metal pine cone back in season 4. I’d dig it. (5x11)
- Auntie Nina: Noooooo! She may have died, but boy did she go out like the badass that she was. Hairoggraphy dreams of an amber timeline back in the 80’s when Nina had a mansion straight out of Falcon Crest and a long list of lovers that likely included Steve Jobs, Bill Clinton and William Bell. Meanwhile, her surrogate daughters Olivia and…. Rachel,
(oh yeah hey showrunners ‘member her?) spent their days chasing boys and riding their ponies. Nina would spike the ponies feed with a Massive Dynamic super cocktail… no snotty brat was gonna beat her kids at show jumping.
- Color Scheme: Goodybye Blue, farewell Amber, see ya round Red, laterz Black…. hello…Turquoise//aubergine/burnt sienna timeline?
- Um…: BOlivia and Lincoln are just chillin like ’Oh hai Observers have taken over your universe. That’s cool. So, how’s the weather?’
- Where Are The Insurgents??: Yes Windmark. They’re in the most obvious place possible. Sucks to be you!
- Small Talk: “Olivia: You have a beautiful family…
but my hipster husband is way hotter than yours and my daughter is a chip off the old bamf block. Plus, I could have had your husband if I wanted too. In yo face BOlivia, I win the Dunhams Life Award. So, we’ll call it even on that whole ‘stealing my life thing in the other timeline’.”
- POlivia’s Tipi of Bishops: POlivia’s soccer mom car of choice is a Chevrolet Equinox.Bonus point if you noticed that the gas bill was in Peter’s name. So, technically we’ll never know if they were actually married… *sigh*
*Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone who has made the gifs.*
This Week: ‘Bert and Ernie Get Their Back of Heads Mack’ On (5x07- 5x09)
- Good Hair Moment: Macgyver Dunham bamfs her way to the top. She was like ‘screw the science boys’, I got some mad skillz. Her time at boarding school coupled with some lonely Season 4 nights home alone, in-front of Bear Grylls
and an odd feeling that something was missing, like a hot boyfriend served her well, turning a hose pipe into a frickin gun! Not only that, but gurl kicked the gun into firing. Who needs hands, when you have a pair of blundstones? (5x08)
- Good Hair Moment Part Deux: POlivia jim jams for the win!!!Finally,
POlivia get their mack ‘on and Dunham’s bed head is all the better for it. Alas, POlivia are rocking the retro 1950’s couple look. Separate Bert and Ernie beds…. as fans quietly weep. *Sigh* at least her hair looked good. A 6ft block of Amber should follow Olivia wherever she goes, it bounces light of her hair like a freakin lazer beam. Yes, it would be a little taxing carting a 2 tonne block of amber around just for Olivia’s hair, but hey, Astrid needs more to do and Michael needs to earn his keep. (5x09)
- Rooftop Shenanigans: ”Peter, I love you. But this rain is totes f**king with my hair." Rainy rooftops with your Observer husband are no place for straight hair. PB next time, you want to bust a cap in Windmark’s bald ass, choose a hair-friendly climate. (5x08)
- Hair Anomalies: "I know that, because I’m an anomaly." I’ve created complex braids that people only dream about & pretend I did them all by myself. (5x08)
- Season 5 Surf and Turf: Olivia’s season 5 surf wave is one of Dunham Hairography’s favorites. It’s a throwback to the days of the green dress, John Scott date. We’re not quite sure how she does it, but maybe she and Astrid find ways to curl their hair on boring nights in, in front of the Heed Serve Obey Network. Their no.1 rated show is “Windmark’s Kitchen Nightmares”, where he tortures and bludgeons insurgents in their kitchens. (5x09)
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Allot of face handography this season. Peter to Olivia. Olivia to Nina. Peter to Walter. Olivia to Etta. Astrid to… a scratched video tape… gurlfriend doesn’t get out much. (5x07)
- Deep In The Forrest: All it takes is a little trip to a forest of dead people for Peter to start getting frisky. After 217 days in real time and 20 years in TV land, POlivia finally kiss. (5x09)
"If a POlivia kiss happens in a forest and no one sees it but for the back of Peter’s head, does it really happen?”
*A riddle which has dumbfounded the human race since the dawn of time.*
- The Tube: Picadilly Circus Blue line with a transfer on the red line to Oxford Circus. Olivia walks in on Peter’s
map of the London Underground Observer timeline. Her excitement that he was planning a kinky 2036 POlivia trip to the UK is soon short lived. (5x07)
- Carla!!!: Can we have Carla in every episode? “You’re burning up… and I know how that feels” Badum tish
- "Love Letter To The Fans": Yo, remember that time, Joel Wyman said Season 5 would be a 'love letter to the fans'? Now… by love letter, he meant a letter which kicks you in the heart, pulls out your heart, plays hacky sack with it for 6 hours, nails it to a pole, takes photos of said battered heart, tweets the photos with the hashtag #YoHeartBeMangled and then puts the photos up on facebook. That’s what he meant, right? (5x07) (thankfully things are bound to get happier! for the Scoobie gang)
- Ummm…: Poor Olivia is so horny she eye fucks Anil- Anna Torv, ladies and gentlemen; sexual tension extraordinaire. Remember that time there was some questionable chemistry between her and her TV sister! Ah, good
awkward times. (5x08)
- Flirty Eyes: PB, I know you’re a demi Observer and all, but we’ve issued a BIG no, no with those flirty eyes on the hostess. Remember that time you slipped and bumped yo’ head and you got a phone number off a waitress in season 2, when all the while you had steak at home? Kill and torture all the people you want, but flirty eyes will not be accepted. (5x07)
- Flashback: Inner monologue- “Peter is in the car grabbing his head, everything is going fuzzy, OK here we go, we’re gonna get some flashbacks to 2015. We really, really want flashbacks…. any minute now, POlivia flashbacks are TOTES gonna happen. *Peter still clutching his head* Grabs popcorn, c’mon guys you’re gonna miss the flashbacks, the camera is zooming to his eyes. Yep, any minute now…..*nothing happens*…….FML. I think they got married once and had a kid. No need to show us, we’ll just use our fan stick-figure drawings to figure it out. (5X07)
- Ring A Ding, Ding: Ohhh PB has his wedding ring on in the promos. CAN-NOT-WAIT-FOR-THIS-SCENE… you know, the scene where he and Olivia address the fact that he is wearing his wedding ring on his hand. CAN NOT WAIT…CAN NOT WAIT…….. Nothing happens. FML (5x09)
- Shirtless Peter: Just counted the votes. ‘Peter Must Be Shirtless In Every Episode' AKA Resolution #115 has been passed. FOX has been notified. (5x09)
- Chief Blockerations Officer: Em… first POlivia were cockblocked by their own Bert and Ernie beds, then Michael ends up stealing their bedroom. Well played Fringe, well played. Your cockblocking is unsurpassed. Yo Michael, go sleep your bald head on the lab floor. (5x09)
- Hmmmm: The Observers continue to demonstrate their crown as the wackiest Time Overlords ever. They may be super intellectual but it took them 8 episodes before they thought of searching Etta’s apartment? (5x08)
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THIS WEEK: “Through The Looking Glass And The Heavy Hair Petting That We Saw.” (5x05-5x06)
- GOOD HAIR MOMENT: Albeit a sad moment, Olivia’s hair was so glossy during her conversation with Walter about the tape, that Dunham Hairography got completely distracted and began puking rainbows and glossy maned unicorns, tra la la la… (5x05)
- GOOD HAIR MOMENT PART DEUX: ♫Monorail… Monorail… Mono—doh!♫ Olivia channels a classic season one look to the point where it almost was the same scene from 'The Transformation.' Olivia and Astrid were like the two cool kids at the back of the bus. One as bad as the other…. cue Astrivia highschool fanfiction! (5x06)
- Mama Bamf and Baby Bamf Jnr: Peter compares ponytails. Dammit! Can’t we have one episode without the tail? (5x05)
- Heavy Petting: PB gets his foreplay on by heavily petting Olivia’s hair. Can’t really blame him now, can you? Dunham Hairography replayed this scene and pretended this was Friday cheesy horror movie date night and POlivia were watching Chucky VIII. The puppet reminded Olivia of Marionette and thus ensued another conversation about how 'she wasn't me, how could you not see that?' Followed by dreamy blue-light make-up sex. Typical Friday at the Bishops. (5x06)
- It May Not Be Hair But….: Ooookaayy, how does Hairography put this… did PB have an anti-matter grenade in his pocket when hugging Olivia on the bed? No? Must have been a
bulge smudge on the screen. (5x05)
- Jane Austen: Peter and Olivia forgo all levels of badassness and opt for the ‘Pride and Prejudice’ method of stepping into another dimension. (5x06)
- Knee Check: PB, is that your hand on Olivia’s knee in the Scooby van? (5x05)
- Help Me Obi-Wan Kanobi, You’re My Only Daddy: Peter taps into Etta’s old hologram and Olivia creates a POlivia moment that was a long time coming. Although, we’re still waiting for scenes to rival that of Peter and Faux’s in season 3. Those were pretty fangirly awesome. (5x05)
- Photoshop: Olivia’s inner monologue; “Awh such a nice photo of my baby girl dressed as Elaine Benes from Seinfeld and her foster mother…. foster bitch, I’m totes cutting you out when I get back to the lab.” (5x05)
- Backography: My, my PB, what hotness have we got here? And to think, fans were denied a shirtless prophecy since season 3. (5x05)
- 'Kiss Mommy': Etta. Shipping POlivia since the time she was in diapers. (5x05)
- Olivia: Yes, I’m scared
- Peter: Olivia, what are you saying?
- Walter: *facepalm*
- Seriously?: Seriously…. no seriously… they’re STILL hiding out at the lab? Observers you are the crappiest time overlords E-V-E-R. (5x06)
- Baby Observer: Hmmm, something’s a lil’different about you baby Observer… can’t quite place it…. did you perhaps have a face transplant? (5x06)
- Um… Guys?: Guys, hey guys… um, you just left Astrid behind there in the other dimension. You know, Astrid… sidekick, no? Never-mind, carry on.
- And Finally: Yo Fringe, 45 minutes of watching people watch a video tape, that’s hard to top o_O You get a hallpass on this one though cos the last 10 minutes of DarthPeter were pretty awesome to watch. Observer neck snapping for the win!
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This Week: Baby Mama and Bishop Bamf Jnr. Hairography Unifier Model II (5x01-5x04)
- Good Hair Moment: Olivia exploded out of
Summer vacation in Hawaii amber in the season opener- 3 shades tanner, 2 times more leather clad and freakin baby jebus, look- she lightened her hair… and we loved it! Even the ponytail was kickin it like, ‘oh hai' and really, Olivia's hairography hasn't looked this amaze-balls since her full color of season 2.
- Good Hair Moment II: Mommy Dunham at the park reading '50 Shades of Grey' (which she mistook for a biographical journey of her wardrobe) while her hot hipster husband uses the small of her back as a pillow. Olivia compensates for the lack of ponytail by putting two in Etta’s hair. Fair trade. (5.02)
- Ponytail Diva: Remember in season 3, damn ponytail was hoggin all the attention? Tail went one better and ambered itself. Olivia spent 23 years with her hair in a ponytail, that beats Season 3’s 11 episodes in a row. By the End of the World, the only survivors will be the cockroaches and Olivia’s ponytail. (5.01)
- Mom or Jnr?: At one point during 5.01, Etta stands watching the CCTV monitors and her hairography from behind could easily be season 1 Olivia. All we needed was a penchant for throwing uneaten food in the trash, a few bouts of dialogue spoken with her hands and we’d be seeing double.
- Awwhh: By 5.02 the Dunham girls have the classic tuck behind the ears down to a synchronized hair-down art form.
- Cathartic Release: Most of us sigh… Olivia, grabs her hair. (5.02)
- Dunham Mini-Me: Etta’s hair has it’s own unifier moment this season and starts to resemble her mom’s in both length and color. Not only that, but mini Dunham has mastered the tank-top-in-bed-rule, doily lamp shade love-affair and puppy eyes for her boyfriend Peter… oh, wait, that last one… eh….hmm
- Hair Down In The Wilderness: Olivia’s hair in 5.03 is the best look this season. It’s going to be hard to top, but you know, a fishtail braid from left field trumps any style. Just sayin *please listen Fringe hair dept.*
- It May Not Be Hair But: Yo Windmark, a lil’ less guy liner and balayage lashes and you might find yourself a Mrs. or Mr. Observer to go home to.
- UM….No: ‘Do you remember that A-M-A-Z-I-N-G apple pie we had when our only child was missing and presumed dead?’
- Broyle’s Photo: Hmm remember how Etta said she couldn’t picture what her parents looked like anymore in 4x19? … and this whole time Broyles had a photo! Dayum, Philip that’s cold.
- POlivia?: Olivia put Peter in the friends’ zone. Right next door to separate-beds-Ville.
- Markham’s Furniture: Markham’s pervy ways prove an important point, Anna Torv can play a coffee table. Is there anything she can’t do? Yo where’s that Emmy nom?
- A.P.B Peter’s Beard: The beard is pretty much non existent, albeit semi made up for by the fact that Peter now wears his trousers tucked into his boots… it’s the little things.
- Bishop BAMFANATORS: Before the Fringe writers put a knife in our chests and twisted it until we cried all the crazy cries, Olivia and Etta just rolled on by in the Bishop wagon. Yo what’up. Just cruizin like homies.
- And: Georgina Haig as Etta was super cool and this blog will very much miss the character… shakes fist in air.
This Week: Night of Desirable Ponytails (2x02)
- Best Hair Moment: 2x02 is one of Hairography’s Favorite Episodes of A-L-L T-I-M-E. Yeah, the creepy soil baby case is a little whateves, but it’s everything that’s going on around that nutty shenanigans that makes it so frickin awesome. This episode is the start of Olivia’s quiet sadness that pervades all subsequent episodes. It is character defining and quiet frankly, ‘A to the T’ (her rap name- Deal. With. It) stands up and blows the screen away from this episode onwards. Yeah, buddy! (*sniff* Charlie) But back to the hair… the best hair moment goes to bathtub bubbles. It’s messy and dewy and yeah, part of you is thinkin what the frack is she doing in a bathtub… with bubbles but it’s endearing and unique and as such, nabs the episode!
- Ninja Insurance: In what is arguably one of the few hair-down moments of season 2, Olivia’s trademark ‘tuck-behind-the-ears’ says goodbye and paves the way for braids and ponytails. She even flirts it up with PB- despite the hideous leather jacket.
- The Color Dunham: This is also the episode where Olivia’s lighter hair color is most evident. It’s a full color, unlike highlights of subsequent seasons. A little birdie tells us, this color may be making a return in S5…. there is a gawd!
- Hello Ponytail: With her hair down, she flirts with Peter. With her hair up, she tries to blow his head off. The incident also gives Olivia time to work on her heavy breathing which will come in handy for their future winter coat sex in ‘6B.’
- Hello, Agent Dunham, I see that you’re naked but I shall continue with my rambling interference nonetheless: POlivia-Commander-in-Chief, Nina Sharp just happens to accidentally walk in on Olivia mid-dress. Totes not a coincidence or anything. It does however give us the opportunity to see the ponytail in perspective. Straight cut, an inch and 3/4 off the nape. That’s a 9.098 in ponytail Olympics.
- Whip Ma Hur: Gurrrllll! In some random carpark, OD whips her hair back and forth like a pro.
- Soil Baby: In a novel attempt to steal Olivia’s ponytail for himself, soil baby goes all schizo and tries to rip it off her head. Pfffffttttt everyone knows the best way to steal her ponytail is to get her drunk on Kentucky bourbon after a foodl-ess dinner date.
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Oh look, Agent Jessup, what the f**k ever happened to her?
- *Sniff: Charlie. You were done wrong, my friend. We miss you.
- Bowling Shyness: Olivia looks about 17 wandering around looking out for Bobby Hastings who’s stood her up on their Friday night date. Oh, season 2. You were so cool, it hurts.
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This Week: ”Imma Mash Your Face & Knock You Up” (4x22)
- Good Hair Moment: The Hottest Baby Mama in Brookline, Massachusetts entered hospital stage left and radiated pure golden delight. Not one to miss an opportunity, the ponytail confirmed its place in Dunham history by being present for one of the biggest POlivia moments to date. We’ve had our fair share of issues with that frickin ponytail but now it’s part of Fringe history….Imma be ok with it. Olivia looked amaze-balls fresh faced and knocked up. We vote for more fresh faceness next year. Freckles for the win!
- Stress Ball: And here we thought the ponytail only functioned to be a filler between the french braid and wavy hair down. But Olivia more than demonstrated the tail’s purpose as a stress ball; repeatedly running her hand over her hair as she mentally kicked William Bell in his own massive dynamic. *Ahem*
- O2 Cargo: Olivia channels BOlivia and dons a pair of cargo pants for her helicopter trip around the bay. Awwh, see, she did appreciate the Vagenda every now and again. And somewhere out there, BOlivia is sitting patiently as Lincoln braids her hair and he not-so-subtly suggests blond highlights and a new wardrobe in 50 shades of gray.
- Bishop Hairpgraphy: Not to feel left out, Olivia runs her hand through Peter’s mighty duck main; ”there, there, you’ll get your own hairography blog next season.”
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Award for ‘Best Face Mash' goes to…..”A Brave New Wordl II”. Whether it was Olivia lying dead on the floor or gifitng her baby daddy the best news ever, Peter couldnt resist as much face mashing as he could get away with.
- Head Scratcher: Em Peter, Mr. One Arm Bandit- shouldn’t Olivia be the one to walk into abandon warehouses first? You know, considering she has a gun and is a trained FBI agent and all…
- You See It?: For a moment there it looked as though POlivia’s first lover’s spat was going to be about whether a ship resonating at an alternate frequency existed in an invisible state in the thin fabric between worlds…. only on Fringe.
- Pistol Whip: LOLS Olivia’s face when she sees Peter with a gun… could she be more turned on?!
- Um….: FFS Walter, don’t even try and cock block that baby mama kiss. We had to endure 15 episodes without POlivia, a nano second reunion kiss, 4 episode dry spells, Alexander Graham Frickin Bell’s cock blocking telephone invention and a bullet to the head. JUST LET THEM KISS, FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD.
- TORVSON FTW!: The final kiss of the season felt very much like Torvson just went; 'the heck with the camera angles or blocking, let's just go for it.' And as such, this POlivia kiss rocketed straight into the hall of fame for one of the best POlivia kisses E-V-E-R.
- And…. then Astrid and Walter just stood and watched…. not weird at all!
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This Week: ‘'Ponytails, Peacoats and A Lack of Prophylactics” (4x21)
- Good Hair Moment: Nursery Bed Head For The Win! At first, it sounded like they were picking baby names from the possible location of conception a la Brooklyn Beckham; Peter was going through multiple vague back seat memories of their Nissan parked at random warehouse crime scenes… but turns out they were just looking for another place that Olivia could bring her homemade doily lamp shades to. We haven’t seen Olivia’s hair out of a ponytail since 415 and that’s a long freakin time but Nursery hair more than made up for it.
- Ponytail and Peacoat: *Sniff* The most beautiful reunion of an inanimate wool object and Polyester hair tie in television history.
- Beanie: In a truly rare moment, we actually bore witness to Olivia putting the beanie on. Meanwhile Peter fastened the peacoat buttons…. and somewhere, out there the hairography and clothes porn fans vomited rainbows and unicorns.
- Hair On Hair: Over badly chopped garlic and blood stained diced onion, PB and Olivia go head to head in the first hairography Royal Rumble.
- Astrid Fancy Pants: She may have just received a bullet to the chest but it just so happened that Astrid was wearing her best outfit to date. There’s irony in there somewhere. Maybe she had a date with Agent Tim, also of the abdomen injury family.
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Nursery Translation…
”Nursery”: I think we should have a baby
”Nursery?’’: For realz?
- Phone Check: Notice how Peter immediately offers his phone for number inspection by Olivia before answering. We’re not saying gurlfriend has him whipped or anything…
- Hot and Sweaty With Jessica In the Lab: Olivia- Cortexiphan hand sex like a BOSS.
- Roses By The Bed: Awwhh PB, you old romantic. A mixture of white tulips, Darwin hybrid tulips and red roses.
- Polkadots: Dots! Olivia’s mattress sheet was polkadot….! No? Anyone? Well, Torv fans will understand.
Peter: ”Nerdynerdy geekspeak geekspeak”
Olivia: ……”It’s a good thing you’re hot.”
- Wii Peter: Part of us thought Olivia was more worried about the peacoat getting scuffed up than anything else. In easily one of the funniest/wackiest/awesomest scenes of season 4…. Olivia plays a demo of ‘Fringe’ Kinect for the XBox 360…. and scores 12,000 points! Next level: Deprivation tank shenanigans with John Scott.
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BO’S HAIROGRAPHY BITCHES!!!
This Week: ”Move Over Goldilocks, Red Is In town” (4x19)
- Good Hair Moment: Drunk BOlivia for the win!!! Is there anything more awesome than BOlivia slurring her words and talking with one eye closed? HELL NO! ”
I wanted to be a pirate!”………. Sorry, sidetracking. Even after a quarter of Bourbon (thanks Frank) BO looks like her 17 year old Angela Chase self avec grunge hoodie and sleeves over hands. Bo’s hair is a much darker shade of red this season and her fringe is full on over her eyes unlike last season when Walternate’s henchmen hairstylists created a strawberry blonde look with side fringe for Original flavor Dunham to bounce around in for 8 episodes. BO can rock anything but the latter was pretty awesome!
- Good Hair Moment Part deux: Did BO borrow Original Flavor’s lipstick? On a trip to trick (using the tried and trusted J.D fletcher method) Nina Sharp into divulging the mole, BO’s blusher and lipstick looks vaguely familiar… right about now Olivia is wondering where her make-up bag disappeared to- right between all the copious amounts of sex and crime solving.
- Gettin Her Jag On: BO in an up-do is rarer than SCharlie Francis making an appearance…. or Rachel…..or frank….or….. Whatever, BO goes all G.I Jane/Sarah Mc Kenzie on us and looks pretty gnarly. All that was missing was Tom Cruise shouting ”I want the truth!” YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!! Although, BOlivia is like a foot taller than Tom Cruise, so he’d probably have all her scenes cut out.
- Ponytail Moment: Olivia doesn’t have time this week to do much with her hair, what with all the sex and all. Ponytail moment #837 forgiven.
- It May Not Be Hair But….: ”Walter, we got here as fast as we could. Pottery Barn were having a 2 for 1 sale.” POlivia arrive at the lab dressed in full couple mode. Either they were at Pottery Barn or Olivia found another street fair to drag Peter to.
- Continuity Score Card- Sex And The Alternate City: BO’s apartment exterior went from channeling George Costanza’s parent’s condo to Carrie Bradshaw’s NY brownstone… but interior remains the same. Fun time nit picks!
- The Victim’s Name is….Nancy Gurry… Nancy Girrrring…. Nancy Girluling: FFS Fringe, come up with easier names next time.
- Cold Shoulder: ”Girl, I know you’re from a different timeline, but you’re sill not forgiven for working your vagenda on my man. Just count yourself lucky I don’t open up a can of Dunham on yo’ass. p.s my condolences p.p.s PB says I’m totes as kinky as you are…. just sayin.”
BOlivia: ”Hey gurl, I’m wearing a peacoat. *wink*”
Olivia: ”Sold! I’ll be there in 10”
- Vibrating G: BO’s universe vibrates at a G…. *cough*
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This Week: ”Three’s Company With A Side of Peanut Butter Bacon” (4x16)
Vermont, fireplace, Sheepskin rug, Olivia in Vandebilt Jeans, Farrah Fawcett hair, Peter in a wool Starsky, his red 1969 Plymouth Convertible outside the door…. Holy F Balls, it’s the 70’s!!!! Olivia was digging PB’s dream sequence until he started to brush her hair and she soon realized it all felt vaguely familiar…… http://youtu.be/9lg1L3ZS5EQ
- Good Hair Moment Part Deux: High School deja vu- On the porch with her two boys. All we need now is Bobby Hastings, some Letterman jackets and the sports field bleachers.
- Ponytail: Original Flavor Dunham is most definitely back. Ain’t nothin but a ponytail for an entire episode. Damn it woman, I’m trying to write a blog here. Ponytail is banned until further notice.
- Astrid’s Hair: Move over Dunham, Farnsworth has come to play. With all that testosterone smashing off the lab walls, Astrid brings some much needed hair-levity with a call back to her season 1 hair. Remember back in the day when she used to wear jeans to the lab? *Sniff* Memories
- Beanie Hat: This season is looking set to go down in Hairography history as the most beanie usage of any season thus far. With 4 total appearances in season 3 and the current count at 4, all beanie records are set to be broken.
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Welcome To The Gun Show! In a last ditch effort to distract Olivia, Lincoln whips off that shirt for his very own Johnny Castle moment. Peter was all like ‘meh’ not gonna work, dude… *cue* Lincoln gorging on bacon.
- ”You’re Thinking Something”: Afternoon Delight? You totally just know POlivia are having noonerson the journey between the lab and their crime scenes
- Um…..: Olivia, I know you were trying to subliminally keep PB from leaving you in the kitchen but sitting spread eagle is a little on the nose, no?
- ”I’m The Good Guy”: Don’t worry Lincoln, we know a certain jazz handed, Olympic medal winning red head who gets a rager for ‘good guys.’
- You Don’t Remember The Diner? Nope! Oooh look a porcupine: Olivia works that selective memory like a BOSS.
- Walter’s Perfect OTP: Lincoln- ”Yeah, they’re great. They’re frickin Marshmallow Amaze balls. F.M.L”
- Paging Dr. Love: Dr. ‘'It's a little weird.” » Olivia: ‘'You think it's weird I'm having sex with my alternate timeline boyfriend, justified by a Cortexiphan fueled gateway? Bitch please, that's a normal day.”
- Weird Part Deux: ”Is it weird that everytime I toast the bacon, the bedroom is filled with a dreamy blue light show, unicorns vomitting rainbows canter across the ceiling while daises flower bomb the moonlit sky? Whatevs Doc, you need to get out more.”
- Peacoat Watch: Maybe Walter has one for him somewhere in that birthday box.
- Astrid. On A Bed. In The Lab. With My Boyfriend: Probably not a good idea.
- INTERNAL MEMO- O. Dunham to P. Broyles: ”Dear Sir, it has been brought to my attention via newly implanted sex dreams that P.B is my boo for life and
Liam Lawrence Lincoln… you know, the guy with glasses is vagenda blocking my future baby-making aspirations. I request that Lee be released as my partner and P.B be instated as my Civilian Sexy Time Consultant. Might I suggest a transfer for Agent Lee to the Alternate Universe? Apologies for the short notice but a bald man in a pine cone said this was totes important. —END MEMO— p.s As you have been keeping tabs on my pharmaceutical activity lately, please note that I intend to reimburse the Bureau for all 32 boxes of Magnum XL. Sincerely, O.D”
- POlivia Season 4 Scorecard: After a nano-second reunion last week, one would be forgiven to think that this week would be Season 4’s own ‘Os’, alas POlivia barely scratched the surface. Even Fakey and Peter had more scenes of domestic bliss; date night, movies in bed, breakfast in bed. Dear Fringe, must try harder. But bonus point for PB calling her ‘Liv.’
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This Week: ”A Short Story About Stage 5 Clingers” (4x15)
- Good Hair Moment:Newly highlighted wavy hair at breakfast was an unexpected surprise. Olivia having breakfast without actual food… not so much. The last time Olivia purposely went the way of the wave was in ‘Concentrate and Ask Again' but a more similar outing was her 'night out' hair in 'The Dreamscape' and her 1st date hair with John Scott in 'The Transformation.' Oohh look: Matching pink shadow and balm- Massive Dynamic have the patent on that; ”Bacon Berry Balmdow”
- Ponytail Moment: The tail wasn’t hitting off her ankles this week, must have gotten her septennial 0.2mm trim.
- Ponytail Moment Part Deux: Surely this whole serial killing, perfume shenanigans could have been circumvented if only Olivia had shown ol’plastic face how to tie his hair in a tail? There you go, see, now you’re a handsome boy.
- Intervention: Now Olive, you know you’re my homegurl, but we really need to talk about the underside of that ponytail. You used to have a full color and we appreciate that you now prefer a full head of highlights, but it’s night and day between that ponytail and crown. It’s like the back of your hair is in two different universes; Brunette and Blond. Coincidentally in Brunette Hair-Verse there is also a Lincoln Lee pining for your attention. He bought tickets to the latest ‘Dungeons and Dragon’s’ Convention… but your Brunette Hair Alt couldn’t go. Something suddenly came up. (Quick thinking OD. Best excuse E.V.E.R)
- Lincoln’s Lost Cause: Just to make matters worse for Lincoln, sitting opposite him Olivia positively glows. Whether it’s the hair, the Bacon Berry Balmdow or PB on her mind, Dunham radiates gold. And to think, it was only yesterday, she was popping pills and drinking coffee with him. They’re not even glasses buddies anymore… *sniff*
- Beanie: Side ponytail. Classic Beanie look
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Coulda swore Olivia was giving the *wink* wink* nudge* nudge smile to those two other crazy kids.
Timmy, Tommy Tim meet Astrid, Astrid meet Tim. Now go, make under appreciated side-kick babies.
- Lincoln Lee, Welcome To The Friends Zone. Population, YOU: Next step, Stage 5 Clinger.
- Olivia- ”I met a woman today…”: Oh Olive, I know things seem hopeless now but that’s no reason to… oh… I misheard…. nevermind, carry on with your story, dear.
- ”You Are Home.” But, But, But: Does this mean we have to keep her Amber timeline apartment with all those hideous ferns?
- Waiting for POlivia: 322 days, 21 hours and 42 minutes…they kis-…BOOM THE END… um… Did someone accidentally hit the ‘cue commercial’ button? What is this fuckery? Will file this under- Season 4 DVD extras better be good to us.
This Week: ”Whatcha Talkin ‘Bout Bishop… Of Course I’m Your Woman!” (4x13)
- GOOD HAIR MOMENT: The moment goes to a Semtex talkin, beanie wearing Dunham who manages to radiate her own universe glimmer without a strand of gold in sight!
I think I’ve just invalidated the hairography blog. A while later, some thugs turn up, she and PBDunham the shiz out of them and she makes a mental note to get those handcuffs back… *cough*
- Back To Where We’ve Been: Moving immediately on from last week, we find POlivia back where they were;
- Olivia’s makeshift twisty-hair-ma-bob-thingy still in place *check*.
- Dameano’s still hot *check*
- Mortified for kissing your maybe, non-boyfriend? *DING*DING*
- GHDs Don’t Exist in Ambertown: Olivia has a mild panic attack when she remembers her date hair back in Jacksonville; ”ZOMG, my hair was so straight and glossy.”
- Flashback Theme: ♫ I whip my hur back and forth, I whip my hur… ♫
- ”I Remember…”: Pervy William Bell, Old Lady 6B, Over There, The Boom Boom Machine, Sexy Fun-Time Glimmers, Jacksonville … wearing my hair in a ponytail for an entire season…
- ‘And Then We Went Upstairs…’: Yeah, you did ;D
- Ummm…: You know you love your dreamy boyfriend when you let his crazy pants father put a plexi-glass dome over your hair and you play along.
- *Snip*…… DID WALTER JUST….OMG….NO…HE….HOLY-F-BALLS…HE CUT THE HAIR….HAS HE LOST HIS MIND…UM, AGAIN?????!!!!!:But Olivia is all like, meh whatever I’m gona bag his son in a few hours.
- Ponytail Make-out Session: No.5
- Retro Hair: 3 seconds to guess which retro hair moment captured Oliviais channelling from Season 1………..tik tok….tik tok…. Oh, btw have you been introduced to the benefits of a Nissan electr— *buzzz* times up! The answer is ”Bad Dreams”.
- Retro Hair Part Deux: Does DRJ have no respect for the golden one? If anything, the one retro style most deserving of a comeback is hands-down the fishtail braid, just sayin. Maybe he could get one of his shapeshiftin hair dressers (we’re sure there must be one on the books) to whip up a good ol’ braid.
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Just how horny was Olivia in this episode!? Dayum, gurlfriend must have some mad skills.
- Chief Blockerations Officer: Cockblocker In Chief, Nina Sharp cortexiphans the life out of Lincoln’s future baby mama aspirations. Translation: You + Olivia= Never.Gona.Happen
- Lincoln Memories V Peter Memories: Coffee next to a $2 peep show V Blue Dream Hotfest 2012…… it’s a tough call- that chicken soup was pretty epic.
- Peacoat Watch: Meh, who cares? Not like Olivia wasn’t gona tear the coat off anyway in the back of her Nissan Pathfinder…. The Nissan Pathfinder with platinum tipped spark plugs and engine-speed-sensitive power steering, as standard.
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This Week: ”And Those Bangs We’ve Left Behind.” (4x06)
- Good Hair Moment: Roll in The Hay hair for the win! POlivia fans rejoice- it won’t be a cold winter, after all.
- ”My Totally Dreamy Girlfriend” by Peter Bishop: PB chose glowing hair-down for his ‘Perfect Day.’ Funny how Olivia’s dreamy hair goes very well with Peter’s wedding band…
- ‘What Are YOU Looking At?’: Olivia uses a fugly puke brown jacket and pulled back hair to make her point. PB, you just got served!
- Ponytail Moment: ……wuh? buh? hah? That is not regulation height ponytail!!!!!! What is this skulduggery? That tail is at least half an inch too high. Next time Dunham, please refer to the Fringe Division Ponytail Guidelines Section 2, Sub section 3 for all ponytail related height restrictions.
- Let’s Hear it for Peter: PB does a Brando and makes a good case for bringing back the undershirt (squint, you’ll see it.) However, last time he went the full HOT hog and did a Johnny Castle (2x13.) No complaints here!
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Peter’s circles and crosses are big and messy. Lincoln’s are neat and within the lines…. Who’d you rather sleep with? Just sayin.
Next Week: TBC (4X07)
This Week: ”My Billion Dollar CEO Nanny Slept With Bill Clinton… probably” (4x05)
- Good Hair Moment: Olivia was channelling her Season one self, flipping back and forth between ponytail and hair-down in this episode but there’s something about staring at the Boom Boom Machinethat can give a girl an ethereal glow. And… Dunham’s BAMF! hair proved it can make even a fugly bullet proof vest look good. Bravo!
- Ponytail Moment: …………. *cricket*cricket*
- Twin Hair: When
couples FBI partners start to look alike.
- Let’s Hear it For Nina!: With a camouflage coat that says ”I’m the real Commander in Chief, Bitches”, an ability to look younger with every passing season and a probable Clinton notch on her bedpost (if her desk photos are anything to go by), we tip our hat to CEO of Massive Dynamic, Ms. Nina Sharp.
- Flirting With
Disaster Lincoln: Y’all knew the moment she walked into that Fringe office with her jacket OFF, that something was up. Olivia without her jacket is like Peter without the Peacoat™. It’s layered with meaning. And yet, not even the sight of a jacket-less, hair-down flirting Dunham could work its’ charms on Lincoln Lee. Meh. He’s probably just jealous of her hair.
- It May Not Be Hair But…: If you squint hard enough you can just about make out Olivia and her winning rosette.
- Pretending That She Doesn’t Find Her Former Timeline Boyfriend Hot: No One is buying it ;)
Next Week: ”And Those Bangs We’ve Left Behind” (4x06)
This Week: My So-Called Tylenol (4x07)
- Good Hair Moment: The Fall finale provided more hair porn than one Hairograpy blog could handle. But, the moment goes to Migraine suffering Olivia channelling her inner Angela Chase. All that was missing was an oversized plaid shirt and Jordan Catalano in his red 1969 Plymouth Convertible. Olivia’s hair tucked inside her scarf and her self conscious patting down screamed adorkable. As a bonus point- we got a glimpse of what it might look like in a bob. Futurverse! I see what ya did there. Clever Fringe.
- Date Hair: Can we just… take a moment. Olivia recognizes the importance of her hair for the first time in 2 seasons- the last time was in ‘Jacksonville’ which mirrors this moment pound for pound. Olivia stared at her reflection- Hair Up? Hair Down? Yes, she was thinking about the hair!!! Maybe she writes her own hair blog in between Fringe events, Tylenol and copious amounts of Jack Daniels.
- Lincoln V Peter Hair: Up for Lincoln (she didn’t want to look like she wastrying- that’a girl!) Down for Peter (well, POlivia is ENDGAME after all, so he gets the better of the two.) You know PB is your soulmate when you’re willing to use your hair porn on a dinner date. Besides, at least Peter took her somewhere that wasn’t next to a $2 dollar peep show.
- Ponytail Moment: Never mind timelines or multi universes. The ‘balance’ hinges on the ponytail. It’s still too high ergo the universe will implode.
- It May Not Be Hair But…: Olivia in grungey grey sweat pants. *wardrobeography adoration*
- Nerds Dating: How can you not secretly adore the awkwardness? It’s cuter than Walter in a tinfoil hat.
- PB’s Gift: Well intentioned but LL’s acetate cock blocking glasses are just fine. It’s OK Linc, ’Let Your Clark Kent Freak Flag Fly’. I dig it.
And that’s it. The End. Thanks for Reading.
**(gifs by these awesome fringies; forthethingsicannotchange , allielost ,karamelka , andrews , behindgreeneyess , mse63 )**
This Week: ”Peter Bishop… Welcome To The Real Vagenda” (4x12)
- GOOD HAIR MOMENT: That scene when she’s at the phone-booth….. BWAH HA HA! Gurl, please. Could there even be another contender? Olivia Dunham gets her ‘hair porn’ on and vagendas the shit out of young Peter Bishop. BEST DREAM/REPRESSED MEMORY HAIROGRAPHY E-V-E-R!
- ‘I’m Just A Little Bit Tired’: Liar, liar FBI standard issue pant-suit on fire! Olivia’s hair channels that morning after glow as she pretends not to mentally undress PB in front of his father.
- Eanie, Beanie, Miney, Oh: What’s a season of FRINGE without a Dunham in a Beanie? Unlike last week, Olivia returns to her Season 1 roots by donning the beanie avec hair down and yet, ‘somehow’ *wink*wink* she manages to lose the hat and unleash her secret golden weapon; ’Mission-To-Subconsciously-Vagenda-My-Alternate-Timeline’s-Boyfriend-With-Distracting-Hairporn’- engage. 2 Bonus Points for spotting that this beanie was different to last week’s. Now deduct 1 point for being sad enough to know that.
- Messy But Relieved Hair: Never has a woman been so relieved to chalk her sex dreams up to a dry spell. Don’t worry Lincoln, we’re sure she dreams about your um…
chicken soup in a tub? crossword puzzles freshly pressed white shirts, all the time.
- The Infamous Date Hair Mirror: ’What’s That guy with the glasses called, again? Meh, nevermind, there’s a knock at the door.’
- Ponytail: Kiss. DENIED.
I’m sure it’s just a coincidence
- It May Not Be Hair But: Step aside Snuggelpalooza 2011, Hotfest 2012 has just kicked yo’ass. Our Showrunners rule! But take pity on our friends who’ve been watching 6 trillion years of ship angst on their favorite shows. There, there, it’s ok. Come over to the Fringe side.
- Westfield Directions: Peter, have you met Olivia? You’re lucky you even made it out of Westfield without a cap in yo’ass- Thou shalt not criticize your alternate timeline girlfriend’s universe venn diagram inflicted driving.
- Peacoat Watch: Still no sign, if you spot it- call the Peter-Bishop-Needs-His-Peacoat HOTLINE at 1800-wtfhappenedtomycoat
- Dayum!: Peter. In A Town. With A Shotgun + Olivia. In The Lab. With A Revolver = POlivia. In A Bed. With Multiple Orgasms.
- And finally…:
POlivia Photo Double or POlivia Torvson ? The question heard around the twitterverse. Our dedicated boffins in white coats and clipboards have agreed that it is most certainly Torvson in Hotfest 2012. The hands are a dead giveaway. *update* Since the release of fringe season 4 on blu ray, it is more than apparent, that the show did in fact use body doubles… :0(
Until next time…
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